Komodo

Komodo Island, Indonesia

I wish I looked better in a swimsuit, but even more, I wish I wished that less. Though, I feel far more content than I did in my 30s or 20s. I’m closer to 50 now than I am to 40, since my 45th birthday last month. It’s time for me to get focused on my by-the-time-I-turn-50 goals, as I have set in the years leading up to my milestone birthdays. I feel hopeful.

Yesterday and today were two of the best days of our trip. At 5:50am while we were in our room packing for the day’s excursion, our driver texted Josh saying he was at the hotel waiting for us. Gah!! Ari had just realized he forgot to pack his sandals so only had tennis shoes and socks for this Komodo outing (they were packed for the big trip, but left behind in the suitcase we left at the hotel for the few days we were gone). Half of the juices in the breakfast boxes we packed ended up spilling or freezing, the yogurt was packed directly in plastic bags and we didn’t really know how to eat them quickly and easily, so we left those behind. We left in greater haste than we planned or should have. But I was so proud of how we did an about face in our energy and moved into the day with positivity.

Early on in our gap year planning we asked the boys about traveling for a year around the world and where they might want to go. They both said, “Can we go to Arizona??” We kept brainstorming and eventually Leo said he wanted to visit Komodo Island to see the Komodo dragons. What a great idea! This whole leg of our trip is designed with Komodo at the center. And it was totally worth it.

We set off from the boat with a crew of 7 or so twentysomething (or younger??) local men. Other tourists on the boat were a Thai couple, a young couple who lives in Singapore (she, an American from Hawaii and he, French), a Finnish woman who gave a sour first impression by demanding a refund from the boutique hotel she was staying in, delaying our shuttle to the harbor. Also, there was an Australian man with who I guessed to be his Balinese wife, their preschool-age son and his…grandpa? Or uncle? who looked after him for most of the day. He was a kind, slight man who spoke the local language and I also noticed him smoothing his black hair several times throughout the day.

Our first stop was a short hike to an island mountain lookout, but it felt long in the humid morning equator-strength sun. I wore my navy tennis dress with my swimsuit underneath and kept having to use Josh’s cotton sleeves to wipe my eyes stinging with sweaty sunscreen. It felt like my face was melting off, due to the sweat pouring off my heated skin. Despite the discomfort, we all hiked without complaint to the top to enjoy a view I’d seen in online brochures. In some places it looked as if parts of the Black Hills were cut out and neatly placed in bits in the ocean. There were all sorts of bends and curves of the island beaches you could see for miles in any direction. At the bottom, our legs were shaky from the focused climbing. It felt good to push the muscle fibers in our legs to start the day.

I wondered if the boys would enjoy snorkeling, if the equipment and their patience would last. It did. The salty ocean water is a welcomed support, keeping us at the surface. The last stop in particular was warm, shallow, and teeming with fish. Someone was throwing bits of bread and rice in the water which was like a fish magnet. I would swim through the schools of fish without touching a single one. It felt like gliding through silk.

The komodos gave me goosebumps, their dormant bodies hiding incredible power.